This is Luna. The tuna. Actually, she’s a Boston Terrier, but it doesn’t matter, since I’ve decided to raise her as a human child. Please… I know she’s a dog. But in this age where we force ourselves to believe the silly notion that anything is possible if only we put our minds to it, I figure it’s worth a shot. At worst, she’ll grow into a conscientious, kind and thoughtful dog… as opposed to a bratty, self-involved dick of a child. At best, she’ll study physics in university and become an astronaut. (Dream big, doggy, dream big!)
Raising children is difficult. Every choice you make has an impact on their lives, how they develop, what they become. From the food they eat (I don’t want her to be the chubbiest puppy in the park — Whippets can be too cruel!), to the clothes they wear, to the books they read, it’s important that you strike the right balance. Sure, sometimes they have hissy-fits of resentment, clearly saying how they “hate” you, but that’s to be expected and in the end, they know it’s all because you love them. (Sure, I could read it to you, but then how will you learn!)
As we launch ourselves forward in 2016, and I resurrect the Oriole Lounge, I look forward with hope — hope that we’ll raise our children well, and foster a society of caring individuals who think more of the those around them than their own, sad, selfie-driven selves. Children who will share a bone, rather than steal a squeaky ball. Children who will protect the more-dominant but less-affectionate cat, rather than attack it in a jealous rage. Children that will sit, roll over, and not beg for that extra bit meat.
And children who know how to mix a nice martini.
Again, I say, dare to dream.